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venfinch

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venfinch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 244
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About venfinch : I love music I'm a vegetarian and I don't like the human race :)

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venfinch's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54023) - you deserved it (4794)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today, I told my 4-year-old neighbor that I'm pregnant. His response was to attack me with a stick "for swallowing a baby." Three people had to pull him off. FML

#21145558
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45670) - you deserved it (5284)

On 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm - kids - by Baby eater - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
191 comments

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41991) - you deserved it (8938)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32472) - you deserved it (51990)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

#21139580
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53912) - you deserved it (6639)

On 05/14/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (42997)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34428) - you deserved it (11731)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45325) - you deserved it (4062)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35843) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42780) - you deserved it (5437)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my brother and I took our cars to get oil changes. While we were there, a guy asked if we were dating. When we told him we were siblings, he responded with, "So?" FML

Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML

#21065125
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (3299)

On 02/19/2014 at 12:12am - work - by Dsark (man) - United States (California)



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