Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

venfinch

Offline (yesterday at 10:44pm) | Search for a member

venfinch

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 296
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About venfinch : I love music I'm a vegetarian and I don't like the human race :)

venfinch's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of venfinch's badges

venfinch's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend texted me saying, "I have some Durex and want your help" so I rushed to her house. She had meant to say "Dulux". I had to help her paint her bedroom. FML

#21257403
92 comments

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (16102)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40966) - you deserved it (9498)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

#21246787
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37035) - you deserved it (2969)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

#21246190
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37016) - you deserved it (4921)

On 08/27/2014 at 12:56am - love - by Iamthatgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (13777)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42912) - you deserved it (9387) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (5688)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42467) - you deserved it (13791)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51009) - you deserved it (4918)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38259) - you deserved it (6012)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35180) - you deserved it (11511)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21274) - you deserved it (49951)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39301) - you deserved it (25400)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: