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venfinch

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venfinch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 180
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About venfinch : I love music I'm a vegetarian and I don't like the human race :)

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venfinch's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (4767)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46176) - you deserved it (4407)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (39471)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

#20968575
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43063) - you deserved it (3235)

On 11/24/2013 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (16132)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37546) - you deserved it (8305)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

#20907559
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22028) - you deserved it (72193)

On 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

#20896754
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35444) - you deserved it (2936)

On 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53347) - you deserved it (4806)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61845) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53387) - you deserved it (5210)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62488) - you deserved it (3362)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54470) - you deserved it (3712)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46643) - you deserved it (3738)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)



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