venfinch

Search for a member

Offline (the 03/11/2015 at 4:02pm)

venfinch

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 894
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About venfinch : I love music I'm a vegetarian and I don't like the human race :)

venfinch's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of venfinch's badges

venfinch's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm / Intimacy

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

by WalkTheOtherWay / 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

by IHateSchool-.- / 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States / Work

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

by Studying is for crazy people. / 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

by HoobidibooFox / 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

by honey, no boo-boo / 11/12/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

by analgirl / 11/09/2014 at 8:31am / Love

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

by CatLover / 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

by Purple / 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML

by kismet_fire / 11/04/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

by Katthebamf / 09/28/2014 at 10:25am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals