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venezuelasbest

Offline (the 12/09/2014 at 11:42pm) | Search for a member

venezuelasbest

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 February 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 43
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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venezuelasbest's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55866) - you deserved it (6190) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58520) - you deserved it (5188)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56694) - you deserved it (5697)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62720) - you deserved it (7365)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9311) - you deserved it (25137)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

#20029971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16556) - you deserved it (3064)

On 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by spasticock (man) - Portugal (Setubal)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (16412)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (3860) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31460) - you deserved it (3702)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML

#9043553
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10100) - you deserved it (26402)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:17am - love - by sXeQueen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

#6579311
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (74733)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:55am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

#6026948
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26964) - you deserved it (5906)

On 10/27/2009 at 5:57pm - love - by Queen_of_Night (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

#5522112
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38248) - you deserved it (4735)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:41am - animals - by Heww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49514) - you deserved it (7110)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124336) - you deserved it (6692)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)



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