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vb68's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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vb68's favorite FMLs
Today, my class and I were discussing our country's relationship with other countries. One person stated that the French have never done anything for us. A classmate took that moment to chime in and ask, "I thought the French gave us that giant statue of the Mona Lisa?" He was dead serious. FML
by crazymentalblond / 11/17/2016 at 6:47am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by dez / 10/16/2016 at 1:05am / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by swee t / 09/21/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money
Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML
by ANON / 09/21/2016 at 10:09am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML
by Alyssa / 09/21/2016 at 3:17am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by not eyelid / 09/20/2016 at 3:53pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Transportation
by Randomspaghetti / 09/15/2016 at 5:11pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Walking in a Winter Wonderland / 09/12/2016 at 6:51am / United States (Florida) / Health
by harambae / 09/11/2016 at 1:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML
by nattnatt73 / 09/10/2016 at 3:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, I saw a cute guy at the coffee shop reading a book. Wanting to be friendly, I smiled as I approached and asked what he was reading. He returned the smile and said, "Minding your damn business, by Fuck Off." FML
by nevaagain / 08/19/2016 at 4:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML
by LoveStinks / 08/18/2016 at 6:56am / Love
by Anonymous / 08/16/2016 at 1:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by an unlucky man / 08/05/2016 at 5:37am / United States (California) / Love