Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vanillatwilight6

Search for a member

vanillatwilight6

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2557
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About vanillatwilight6 : i love any kind of music i play lacrosse and do swim team and also shot put for track and field

vanillatwilight6's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - 10 hours ago<b>girltalk1991</b> - the 10/18/2010 at 7:55am

vanillatwilight6's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

vanillatwilight6's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62456) - you deserved it (4623)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (5697)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML

#16932520
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31418) - you deserved it (3511)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (6055)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

#16233240
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24848) - you deserved it (18939)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:15am - intimacy - by thoughtitwasspecial (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37782) - you deserved it (10277)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said "turn around" it was her. FML

#16181891
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9594) - you deserved it (64426)

On 05/15/2011 at 1:20am - misc - by marmarr - United States

Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said "turn around" it was her. FML

#16181891
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9594) - you deserved it (64426)

On 05/15/2011 at 1:20am - misc - by marmarr - United States

Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said "turn around" it was her. FML

#16181891
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9594) - you deserved it (64426)

On 05/15/2011 at 1:20am - misc - by marmarr - United States

Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML

#15500038
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45213) - you deserved it (7242)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

#15447949
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16038) - you deserved it (31597)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by Cuzles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (62613)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57370) - you deserved it (6220)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47748) - you deserved it (27082)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed a weird smell coming from my four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet for when she "can't make it in time." FML

#15420091
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31716) - you deserved it (3891)

On 03/21/2011 at 8:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: