Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vanezsa07

Search for a member

vanezsa07

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

vanezsa07's page activity

Visits<b>hasd96</b> - the 06/20/2011 at 6:24pm

vanezsa07's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

vanezsa07's favorite FMLs

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

#16044464
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (8133)

On 05/04/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (5203)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, my grandma moved in with us. Along with her 36-year old boyfriend that none of us knew about. FML

#16031811
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (3377)

On 05/03/2011 at 12:32pm - love - by moetplease - Singapore

Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML

#16030306
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (2449)

On 05/03/2011 at 8:04am - misc - by Mayshod -

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

#16025758
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33491) - you deserved it (9034)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by kimftwxox - United Kingdom

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15 minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML

#16019409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (11598)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:02pm - animals - by Asirual - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

#15791690
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (52197)

On 04/15/2011 at 1:34am - intimacy - by fmyhabit - United States (Utah)

Today, I returned home to find the key to my mailbox missing. I called the post office and was informed that a new key will cost me $15. I have no money, and my paycheck is in the mailbox. FML

#15636997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31795) - you deserved it (4670)

On 04/04/2011 at 3:47pm - money - by DaisyMay (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45595) - you deserved it (8069)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
377 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19331) - you deserved it (88473)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45220) - you deserved it (7689)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML

#15144995
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19103) - you deserved it (45454)

On 02/27/2011 at 10:23pm - money - by Anonymous -

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1135449) - you deserved it (114860)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: