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vampirapaige

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vampirapaige

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 848
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About vampirapaige : Type in BEATRIXPAD into google earth and you can see a dead body being dragged into the ocean!!! How delightful...

vampirapaige's page activity

Visits<b>Dylans_Girl1166</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 6:46am<b>haleymcaldwell</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 8:51pm<b>bath_time_bitch</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 8:47pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 5:20am<b>elehcim65</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 8:32am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:23pm<b>xiax</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:50pm<b>TW34BOSTON</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 11:19am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 1:22am<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 1:11am<b>Catkam623</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:27am<b>meihua</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 8:48am<b>149967</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 8:04pm<b>starfish7</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 5:59am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 3:06am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 2:20am<b>jennnfdsjk</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 12:15am<b>Failure_Inc</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 11:49pm

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vampirapaige's favorite FMLs

Today, I opened my heart to my father-in-law, telling him how he was a very good example for us and how his name would be great for our first born son, he interrupted, saying, "Cut the cheesy crap, now." FML

#20978596
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (5630)

On 12/02/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I was accused of stealing when I dropped a $20 bill in front of my boss. His logic: I'm too poor to have a $20 bill and there's no way it was a tip, since our customers are "so stingy". It was a tip and it was going to get me through the rest of the month. He won't give it back. FML

#20957216
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48967) - you deserved it (2673)

On 11/14/2013 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34519) - you deserved it (2814)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41912) - you deserved it (3888)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37612) - you deserved it (4010)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48789) - you deserved it (6380)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38793) - you deserved it (2975)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28418) - you deserved it (39727)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60289) - you deserved it (8964)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML

#20772988
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43144) - you deserved it (5118)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by tonedef (man) - United States

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58846) - you deserved it (10850)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

#20746329
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43928) - you deserved it (5835)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47677) - you deserved it (13599)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium



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