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v0lc0mgal

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v0lc0mgal

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v0lc0mgal's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34470) - you deserved it (24594)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

#17738914
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (3967)

On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (9270)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

#17661363
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24060) - you deserved it (3996)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28466) - you deserved it (3043)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19809) - you deserved it (3290)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

#17611255
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9265) - you deserved it (36029)

On 08/29/2011 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

#17606800
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12506) - you deserved it (42877)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

#17451682
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12193) - you deserved it (28359)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by ThisGuy97 - United States

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34588) - you deserved it (3445)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40239) - you deserved it (3238)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13853) - you deserved it (56786)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15746) - you deserved it (32688)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43398) - you deserved it (14499)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)



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