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usernamehere556

Offline (the 10/02/2014 at 8:59am) | Search for a member

usernamehere556

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 September 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 436
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About usernamehere556 : Not much to be said...

usernamehere556's page activity

Visits<b>aa1717</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 11:18am

usernamehere556's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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usernamehere556's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40431) - you deserved it (21630)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML

#21037915
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37884) - you deserved it (7994)

On 01/24/2014 at 2:16am - work - by Kenny (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58648) - you deserved it (35408)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58454) - you deserved it (7338)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51105) - you deserved it (5085)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, while on vacation, I called my home phone to check the messages. Someone answered. FML

#20863583
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49139) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66398) - you deserved it (6554)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML

#20564887
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38961) - you deserved it (3307)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:37am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47781) - you deserved it (5774)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38892) - you deserved it (4114)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35931) - you deserved it (5945)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found my diary on my mother's nightstand. Bookmarked. FML

#20417856
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43658) - you deserved it (4410)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36105) - you deserved it (7019)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36105) - you deserved it (7019)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36105) - you deserved it (7019)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)



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