Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

urdirtyolduncle

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

urdirtyolduncle

7Liked!

urdirtyolduncleurdirtyolduncle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4718
  • Number of comments : 1040
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About urdirtyolduncle : I'm here to troll.

urdirtyolduncle's page activity

Visits<b>fandoms_unite</b> - 5 hours ago<b>adameeo</b> - 7 hours ago<b>gunner_12</b> - 10 hours ago<b>maxyutd</b> - 18 hours ago<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - 23 hours ago<b>jaffvis</b> - yesterday at 12:50pm<b>LeSquishy</b> - yesterday at 11:19am<b>JK0909</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:35am<b>helenyeung0915</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:40pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:14pm<b>josiemijn</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 1:25pm<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:34am<b>SaintVeronika</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:48pm<b>kakaylaa</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:42am<b>equitationbound</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 8:04pm<b>it_happens06</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:22pm<b>pinkfreud21</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:10pm

Liked!<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 10:29pm<b>nela25</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 6:08am<b>olivetree172</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:26am<b>_spacekid</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 5:36am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:29pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:12pm<b>emmaaadotcom</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:32am

urdirtyolduncle's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of urdirtyolduncle's badges

urdirtyolduncle's favorite FMLs

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (7297)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

#21258006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39573) - you deserved it (7660)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:32am - love - by jgboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found my son trying to comb his hair with scissors. He's the same kid who thought that if he ate toothpaste, he would never have to brush his teeth again. FML

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38714) - you deserved it (4301)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40816) - you deserved it (2679)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37720) - you deserved it (2522)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34755) - you deserved it (4613)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39858) - you deserved it (7246)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24243) - you deserved it (44595)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44651) - you deserved it (6901)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51317) - you deserved it (3567)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50556) - you deserved it (6621)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML

#21203602
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37616) - you deserved it (17603)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:38am - kids - by whoops - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41445) - you deserved it (2994)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (6125)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: