About urdirtyolduncle : NOT an actual dirty old uncle. so, don't be startled. I'm just a 20 year old guy who goes on FML when he's extremely bored in class, or at home.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13430) - you deserved it (3165)
On 05/17/2012 at 10:37am - health - by Username (man) - Australia
Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14341) - you deserved it (1794)
On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "sex". My son is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18080) - you deserved it (2580)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my girlfriend called me a lazy pig. To prove her wrong, I decided to go lift some weights. A few reps in, my arm cracked and my first reaction was to squeal like a pig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6232) - you deserved it (16283)
On 02/29/2012 at 1:29am - health - by Ismellbacon - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (7484)
On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States
Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23167) - you deserved it (7825)
On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25915) - you deserved it (2316)
On 12/23/2011 at 5:53am - love - by johncabbot25 (man) - Canada
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53050) - you deserved it (3339)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (12714)
On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19125) - you deserved it (8244)
On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)
Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10545) - you deserved it (39625)
On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting in social studies and someone threw a note at me. It said "Go fuck yourself, everyone hates you, just die." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39714) - you deserved it (3767)
On 02/16/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by oheyimsarahh - United States
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32867) - you deserved it (11290)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36791) - you deserved it (10462)
On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)
Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (2201)
On 01/12/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by patty - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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