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unholymasta

Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 2:18am) | Search for a member

unholymasta

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 468
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:41pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 6:35pm<b>thejustin14</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 8:33pm<b>_LapisLazuli_</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:51am<b>Dumbledore91</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 3:38am<b>mitchknvb</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 4:03am

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unholymasta's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36035) - you deserved it (5285)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

#16222014
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17640) - you deserved it (62383)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by markymark - United States

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (23408)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (19929) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I posted a status on Facebook saying I was depressed and needed someone to talk to. Someone commented on it saying "Just kill yourself". It got 20 likes. FML

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (10040)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20822) - you deserved it (38120)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

#3006187
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45105) - you deserved it (7730)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:07pm - health - by asthmatic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17974) - you deserved it (140606)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98910) - you deserved it (23127)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

#152949
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98794) - you deserved it (10691)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48074) - you deserved it (7820)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21017) - you deserved it (48787)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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