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unholymasta

Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 2:18am) | Search for a member

unholymasta

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 450
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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unholymasta's page activity

Visits<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:41pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 6:35pm<b>thejustin14</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 8:33pm<b>_LapisLazuli_</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 10:51am<b>Dumbledore91</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 3:38am<b>mitchknvb</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 4:03am

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unholymasta's favorite FMLs

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

#19678999
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17828) - you deserved it (2018)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

#19625329
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17709) - you deserved it (4175)

On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28916) - you deserved it (3120)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

#19320303
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25956) - you deserved it (1966)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21576) - you deserved it (11871)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23807) - you deserved it (6802)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39960) - you deserved it (9436)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28937) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34480) - you deserved it (24600)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (24101)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

#17856112
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33095) - you deserved it (4453)

On 09/28/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Unluckiest Guy of the group (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11919) - you deserved it (31048)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19918) - you deserved it (43704)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. What was it over? He accused me of pronouncing MY name wrong. FML

#17658485
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30883) - you deserved it (3393)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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