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unholyhalfbreed

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unholyhalfbreed

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  • Number of visits : 453
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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unholyhalfbreed's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43799) - you deserved it (2992) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

#14396481
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42143) - you deserved it (3249)

On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

#13850566
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73287) - you deserved it (4101)

On 11/15/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by xkal174 - United States (New York)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

#13484178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (4654)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:55am - kids - by Ashley Marshburn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML

#12533834
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28757) - you deserved it (3150)

On 08/15/2010 at 3:23am - health - by sleeplessinID (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

#8001805
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (8126)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML

#7086130
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43903) - you deserved it (2379)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:07pm - work - by manksy (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

#6255110
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (3601)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

#5354968
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71103) - you deserved it (3738)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML

#2674249
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54348) - you deserved it (9523)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by fatty - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17886) - you deserved it (139504)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
537 comments

I agree, your life sucks (206366) - you deserved it (22143)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML

#2138736
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10404) - you deserved it (74048)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by boyo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98073) - you deserved it (22500)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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