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unholyhalfbreed

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unholyhalfbreed

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  • Number of visits : 450
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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unholyhalfbreed's favorite FMLs

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27463) - you deserved it (4275)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24642) - you deserved it (1775)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24088) - you deserved it (1715)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (2830)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

#19685712
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (1804)

On 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by anonymus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

#19465353
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you deserved it (6657)

On 04/14/2012 at 7:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85975) - you deserved it (4241)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML

#19221351
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7001) - you deserved it (64651)

On 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9688) - you deserved it (73734)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29751) - you deserved it (7630)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

#17758843
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (2164)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by messed up - United States (Oregon)

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#17017856
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53130) - you deserved it (3092)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72254) - you deserved it (3718)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML

#15306672
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35006) - you deserved it (9323)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by alex - United States



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