unholyhalfbreed

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unholyhalfbreed

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  • Number of visits : 807
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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unholyhalfbreed's page activity

Visits<b>andv888</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 1:56pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:04pm<b>Bekahlynn99</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 6:10pm<b>kandifantasy</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 11:28pm<b>xs4u</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 9:15pm<b>KyleHolt</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 7:52pm<b>reflexion213</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 3:55pm<b>bgard8</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 2:19pm<b>skyeyez9</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 1:17pm<b>mbuck87</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 1:06pm

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unholyhalfbreed's favorite FMLs

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

by jfc519 / 08/12/2012 at 12:23pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 7:10am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm / Intimacy

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

by messed up / 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, a business man in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML

by alex / 03/14/2011 at 10:44am / United States / Miscellaneous