About underguarded : I like to ask, 'is that popcorn ?' After I silently let out a fart.
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underguarded's favorite FMLs
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
by LizP40 / 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by doomed / 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by somebodyelse / 08/17/2009 at 1:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and were I getting it on in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FML
by mchhhoi / 07/20/2009 at 2:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I was accidentally tagged in a photo of a group of people by a 'friend' on Facebook. She later corrected it, apparently everyone had already seen the tag and decided that the comment box below was a great opportunity to discuss how none of them would ever be caught dead hanging out with me. FML
by Coolkid. / 06/14/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I decided to get a little frisky in bed. After we were done we lay spent on our bed then only to hear weird noises coming from our doorway. To our surprise not only had our daughter taken her first steps but has been watching and now making the noises as well. FML
by PreciousIve / 06/09/2009 at 11:36am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
by canadiankc / 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML
by rawkdinosawr / 05/09/2009 at 11:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Love
Today, I called my favorite radio station over and over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding my thumb over the button to quickly hang up and re-dial if busy. I finally got through and they congratulated me being the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML
by LonelyFrog / 04/13/2009 at 11:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
by talkssuck / 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML
by that1guy / 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
by mugs / 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by rainyday / 02/12/2009 at 2:04am / United States (California) / Love