underguarded

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Offline (the 12/03/2014 at 12:17am)

underguarded

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3171
  • Number of comments : 504
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About underguarded : I like to ask, 'is that popcorn ?' After I silently let out a fart.

underguarded's page activity

Visits<b>plastix</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 2:18am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:29am<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 7:48pm<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 9:24am<b>FerrisFailsLife</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:00am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 3:11pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:32pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:52am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 6:16pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:06pm<b>C7</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:44pm<b>facelick</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:47am<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:15pm<b>emobitch1022</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:35pm<b>gdeekay</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:33pm<b>blackwidowtaco</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:25am

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:56am

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underguarded's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

by Haley. / 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

by Maddy / 03/10/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

by ICantBelieveThis / 03/06/2010 at 9:31am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

by meaganlea / 02/23/2010 at 12:17am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that the only reason he's with me is because I'm a good tattoo artist and he's too broke to pay for his own tattoos. We've been together for two years. FML

by estephi / 02/09/2010 at 3:14am / Love

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 11:12am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2010 at 4:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss just looked at me and said, "No. You can't quit." FML

by toolegittoquit / 01/18/2010 at 3:28am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

by obese_chicken / 11/06/2009 at 1:59am / Australia / Transportation

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

by WasteOfTime / 11/01/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Transportation

Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2009 at 10:58am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:31am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML

by vcarder / 09/26/2009 at 4:00am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my plates on my car were stolen. On the way to the police station to file a police report I was pulled over. They impounded my car for driving without a license plate. FML