About underguarded : I like to ask, 'is that popcorn ?' After I silently let out a fart.
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underguarded's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML
by Haley. / 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by Maddy / 03/10/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML
by ICantBelieveThis / 03/06/2010 at 9:31am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML
by meaganlea / 02/23/2010 at 12:17am / Canada (Quebec) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/04/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 11:12am / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2010 at 4:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by toolegittoquit / 01/18/2010 at 3:28am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
by obese_chicken / 11/06/2009 at 1:59am / Australia / Transportation
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
by WasteOfTime / 11/01/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Transportation
Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2009 at 10:58am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:31am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous
by vcarder / 09/26/2009 at 4:00am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/23/2009 at 11:36am / United States / Transportation
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…