About underguarded : I like to ask, 'is that popcorn ?' After I silently let out a fart.
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underguarded's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend sat me down to reassure me that his competitive, possessive ex-wife will not come between us or ruin our relationship. Mid-conversation, his phone rang. It was her, and he left to answer it. FML
by ForgottenAgain / 08/29/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML
by 713 / 08/28/2010 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML
by Anonymous / 08/27/2010 at 5:15am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML
by Ido / 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by avalanche719 / 08/26/2010 at 11:09am / United States (Iowa) / Money
by nothanks / 08/22/2010 at 9:42am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by shawty / 08/22/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by superconfused16 / 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by pathetic / 08/20/2010 at 5:51am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
by Blueberrypicc / 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by KBL3 / 08/11/2010 at 5:16am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML
by Emily / 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health
by Doritos / 06/17/2010 at 4:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
- Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and… Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I… Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on…