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Offline (the 10/03/2016 at 2:02am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3557
  • Number of comments : 504
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About underguarded : I really don't know what I'm doing

underguarded's page activity

Visits<b>Arnvs</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:08am<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 2:26am<b>Jpav1</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 2:40am<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 10:10am<b>plastix</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 2:18am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:29am<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 7:48pm<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 9:24am<b>FerrisFailsLife</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:00am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 3:11pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:32pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:52am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 6:16pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:06pm<b>C7</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:44pm<b>facelick</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:47am

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:56am

underguarded's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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underguarded's favorite FMLs

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2010 at 5:15am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I went to pay my vehicle registration in person to avoid paying the $10.00 online service fee. After a long wait, I came out to find a $15.00 parking ticket on my car. FML

by avalanche719 / 08/26/2010 at 11:09am / United States (Iowa) / Money

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

by shawty / 08/22/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML

by superconfused16 / 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

by pathetic / 08/20/2010 at 5:51am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

by Blueberrypicc / 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

by KBL3 / 08/11/2010 at 5:16am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

by Emily / 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

by Doritos / 06/17/2010 at 4:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

by Haley. / 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

by Maddy / 03/10/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML

by ICantBelieveThis / 03/06/2010 at 9:31am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

by meaganlea / 02/23/2010 at 12:17am / Canada (Quebec) / Work