underguarded

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Offline (the 12/03/2014 at 12:17am)

underguarded

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3125
  • Number of comments : 504
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About underguarded : I like to ask, 'is that popcorn ?' After I silently let out a fart.

underguarded's page activity

Visits<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:29am<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 7:48pm<b>WhiteCrimson</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 9:24am<b>FerrisFailsLife</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:00am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 3:11pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 1:32pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:52am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 6:16pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:06pm<b>C7</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Caro97songs</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 5:44pm<b>facelick</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 10:57pm<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 2:47am<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:15pm<b>emobitch1022</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:35pm<b>gdeekay</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:33pm<b>blackwidowtaco</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:25am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:58pm

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:56am

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underguarded's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend sat me down to reassure me that his competitive, possessive ex-wife will not come between us or ruin our relationship. Mid-conversation, his phone rang. It was her, and he left to answer it. FML

by ForgottenAgain / 08/29/2010 at 12:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML

by 713 / 08/28/2010 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my new girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex, showed me her collection of sex toys. She picked up one approximately the size of my forearm and said "This one is my favorite" now I'm scared for her to see me naked. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2010 at 5:15am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

by Ido / 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I went to pay my vehicle registration in person to avoid paying the $10.00 online service fee. After a long wait, I came out to find a $15.00 parking ticket on my car. FML

by avalanche719 / 08/26/2010 at 11:09am / United States (Iowa) / Money

Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML

by nothanks / 08/22/2010 at 9:42am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

by shawty / 08/22/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML

by superconfused16 / 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

by pathetic / 08/20/2010 at 5:51am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

by Blueberrypicc / 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

by KBL3 / 08/11/2010 at 5:16am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

by Emily / 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

by Doritos / 06/17/2010 at 4:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy