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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24587) - you deserved it (57081)
On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (2754)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11114) - you deserved it (68445)
On 06/15/2009 at 1:42am - love - by gabe8 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (48616)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (45556)
On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81160) - you deserved it (15204)
On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60119) - you deserved it (13173)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27987) - you deserved it (47183)
On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73215) - you deserved it (15327)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30608) - you deserved it (271541)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38793) - you deserved it (8795)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24548) - you deserved it (106526)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76045) - you deserved it (203437)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (107411) - you deserved it (10687)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59374) - you deserved it (15523)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Friday 24 May 2013
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