About un_nomable : There isn't much to know about me. I am a female and I like turtles. I am a computer geek, working to learn the build of custom web design and creating graphics. I am also an artist on quite a few sites, who has no specific style, as every piece is an experiment. I love animals and hope to one day own a fox. *points at picture*. I also love drawing MLP ponies c:
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un_nomable's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
by sulitak / 07/02/2013 at 2:35am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Utah) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Work
by Gracie-Ann / 07/01/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML
by readytoamputatemyfeet / 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm / United States / Transportation
Today, a group of friends and I went out to a fancy club together. The doorman checked us out and let everyone in. Everyone except me, that is. The doorman's reason: "Her face looks like a baboon's arse." My "friends" all went in anyway, leaving me to walk all the way home. FML
by arse-face / 06/28/2013 at 7:22pm / Ireland (Clare) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML
by DocKreso / 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous
by confusedandnowsingle / 06/28/2013 at 8:23am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…