umyeahh

Search for a member

umyeahh

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 6 April 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1088
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About umyeahh : i like punk rock and horror films

umyeahh's page activity

Visits<b>TaquitoPrincess</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 2:40pm<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:21am<b>rjc490</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:22am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:40pm<b>MaydayParadexx</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:56am<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:37am<b>mif</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:49am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 7:20am<b>mathen</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 5:32am<b>utrax</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:50am<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 6:43pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 9:51pm<b>SW1FTTGrafix</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 11:49pm<b>elJefe98</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 12:47pm<b>Gentelman999</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 12:24pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 2:55pm<b>Samuu212</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 11:49am<b>FailBear920</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 8:59pm

Fucked!<b>TaquitoPrincess</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 8:41pm

umyeahh's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of umyeahh's badges

umyeahh's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my neighbours' whiny emo of a daughter got dumped by her boyfriend. In her infinite wisdom, she's chosen to cope by playing on her recorder the worst rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" that I've ever heard. It's been going on all day. Now I know why he dumped this idiot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2013 at 5:44pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

by itsellie27 / 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.