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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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uhmfml

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uhmfml
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  • Number of visits : 37281
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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uhmfml's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (28064) - you deserved it (2260)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (50329) - you deserved it (2348)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML

#5120895 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (5168)

On 09/08/2009 at 1:29am - kids - by FAIL (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363036) - you deserved it (401381)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)