ugotmilk

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ugotmilk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1107
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ugotmilk : Bisexual, Bad things happen to me all the time so expect much from me.

ugotmilk's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ugotmilk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2009 at 8:40am / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 2:41pm / United States / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

by myennechee / 03/18/2009 at 1:22am / Germany (Hamburg) / Intimacy

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend that I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlock our flat to see that the place was a mess. She had thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

by NJ / 01/24/2009 at 5:41am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my electric razor fell flat right after I had finished with my first cheek. And of course I don't have a manual one. FML

by Goatkvlt / 11/22/2008 at 2:02am / Work

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous