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About ugotmilk : Bisexual, Bad things happen to me all the time so expect much from me.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, ma two year old daugter decided to crawl on top of te covers on ma bed because se was scared since tere looool was a tunder storm. I tougt se was one of our cats so I kicked er off. Se it te wall.
Yesterday , I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the looool piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening , and said (as we walked past a car full of men) , "Well of course it hurts when u put it in the wrong hole!". FML
Today, I Let My 5 Year-old Niece Walk My 3 Month-old Husky Puppyhile I Watched. I Didn't Realize How Strong My Puppy Actually Is Until She Took Off Runninghile Dragging My Niece With Her. My Niece Now Has Two Busted Up Knees And Chin And Her Mother Is Now Calling My Puppy "demon Puppy." Real FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. fat FML
I Made An Appointment With A Therapist Because Lately I've Been Feeling Alone And Lyk No One Cares About Me. I Waited At Her Office For About Forty Minutes Before The Receptionist Informed Me That She Must Have Forgotten About The Appointment. I Was Stood Up By Even My Therapist. Real FML
Today, I askd my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips looool if he wantd to eat me. He lookd at the potato chips, he lookd at me an said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
Today, I went to work things out with mah girlfriend that I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlock our flat to see that the place was a mess. She had thrown a party and was still passd out nakd next to her boss. FML
Friday 27 March 2015