tyler907

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Offline (the 06/09/2015 at 6:37pm)

tyler907

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 November 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4199
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tyler907 : I don't have a home, so I vagabond it up in a Tacoma. I work wherever I need to and get internet from Starbucks.

tyler907's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:30pm<b>theLonelyInn</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 4:50pm<b>PossiblyInDanger</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 10:39pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 11/30/2011 at 5:10pm<b>BowChikkeBown</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 4:10am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:01pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:17am<b>Djosef</b> - the 06/24/2010 at 12:02pm<b>fudrick</b> - the 01/23/2010 at 2:05pm<b>shankapotamous15</b> - the 01/11/2010 at 5:42pm<b>hazeleyedlady00</b> - the 09/24/2009 at 2:25pm<b>Polionixon</b> - the 09/11/2009 at 12:17am<b>barlessprison</b> - the 09/10/2009 at 8:57pm<b>registered</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 1:29am<b>DoMeBaby</b> - the 09/04/2009 at 11:47pm<b>nutta</b> - the 08/24/2009 at 9:04am<b>unfortunate_13</b> - the 08/10/2009 at 2:42am<b>tumandro</b> - the 08/03/2009 at 12:11pm

tyler907's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of tyler907's badges

tyler907's favorite FMLs

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

by officeditz / 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 6:15am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

by That_Indian_Guy / 11/15/2014 at 8:25am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML

by cazzb / 09/16/2014 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

by why me? / 09/06/2014 at 12:25am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

by ihatejasonderulo / 09/02/2014 at 11:32am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Intimacy

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

by mayoshampoo / 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

by rollergirl13 / 01/11/2014 at 12:55am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy