Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Online | Search for a member

tygerarmy

50Fucked!

tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12705
  • Number of comments : 690
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter/IG @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - 13 hours ago<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Jamilal16</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:39pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:41am<b>tcglover</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:25pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:05am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:15am<b>hellopenny</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:07am<b>emxy92</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:49am<b>tori3700</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:09pm<b>candygirl2015</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:22pm<b>commanderstiff</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:59pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:16am<b>greg84</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:06pm<b>vicky_lynnnnn</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:59pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 1:14am

Fucked!<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:39am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:04am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 1:12pm<b>bayy1432</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 7:37pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:13pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:20am<b>Austin2276</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:11am<b>df21312</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:31pm<b>unicornruler</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:07am<b>Target30377</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:28pm<b>kinelygriffy</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 8:19am<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:24am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:36am<b>fiveforfighting</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:08pm<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:00am<b>ChloeMeyers_Xo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:50pm

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

#21108567
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40891) - you deserved it (5623)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by Max - United States

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45072) - you deserved it (3159)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39420) - you deserved it (3212)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML

#21102227
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41542) - you deserved it (4592)

On 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm - love - by that kind of girl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

#21101191
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39160) - you deserved it (6227)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Jaime - United States (New York)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44145) - you deserved it (7234)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

#21099601
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38427) - you deserved it (4406)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm - work - by ohdear. (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39731) - you deserved it (4912)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38226) - you deserved it (2926)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39477) - you deserved it (10384)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42115) - you deserved it (3724)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

#21084613
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45235) - you deserved it (3116)

On 03/12/2014 at 2:39am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

#21083808
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36092) - you deserved it (2982)

On 03/11/2014 at 3:21am - misc - by why me? (man) - United States (California)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
189 comments


FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: