Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Offline (the 04/13/2014 at 10:25pm) | Search for a member

tygerarmy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7746
  • Number of comments : 589
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About tygerarmy : Current deployed and enjoying FML from somewhere in Middle-Earth
King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>ikilledaman</b> - yesterday at 2:13pm<b>2tonekid</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:32am<b>texashater75</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:55pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:13am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:24am<b>Anaklusmos2013</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:35pm<b>catchmenow1</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:09pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 7:30pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 5:51pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:19pm<b>A_Dead_Fish32</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:59am<b>RiceCrispies</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:25am<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:48am<b>jamalamadingdong</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:57am<b>spencerstoaker</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:28am<b>14huberzb</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 11:02pm<b>ZorroRooster</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Infamous278</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:56pm

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML

#85022
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39537) - you deserved it (10513)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:27am - work - by muffinmen1022 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46731) - you deserved it (11854)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

#70392
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72101) - you deserved it (4378)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

#70171
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41171) - you deserved it (7762)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV when the Jim Beam commercial came on with the hot girl saying how she likes her men fat and hairy. My mom walked in and said, "See honey, you still have a chance." FML

#54355
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (4316)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by LonelyInLA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42859) - you deserved it (9450)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42859) - you deserved it (9450)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

#46151
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7366) - you deserved it (64253)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

#38092
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45332) - you deserved it (4080)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

#34420
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12480) - you deserved it (42790)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20922) - you deserved it (48678)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161310) - you deserved it (47359)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

#26905
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54684) - you deserved it (5832)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by sissica (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

#18079
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37130) - you deserved it (4029)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: