Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Online | Search for a member

tygerarmy

0Liked!

tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9248
  • Number of comments : 606
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>whitelightning19</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:53am<b>Warriorcat17</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 8:33pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 11:52am<b>betheo</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:23pm<b>Zman2017</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 11:40pm<b>XQuartzX</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:57pm<b>mineller</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:03am<b>Rinat</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 10:52am<b>heathertail</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:57am<b>HeRoxKicks</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:01am<b>noah_1234</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:59pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 8:27pm<b>Noxialis</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 8:01pm<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:32pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:54pm<b>Horsempeg</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 7:31am<b>schwaka</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:25pm<b>jennawinchester</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 4:33pm

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39741) - you deserved it (10967)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39330) - you deserved it (9535)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55208) - you deserved it (27694)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48725) - you deserved it (27502)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34710) - you deserved it (48687)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML

#15285580
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36094) - you deserved it (2972)

On 03/12/2011 at 6:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you deserved it (3351)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39039) - you deserved it (10562)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46810) - you deserved it (9271)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML

#14908871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (12154)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by maddie! - United States (New York)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15178) - you deserved it (53378)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47661) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML

#14786538
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (5184)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8422) - you deserved it (104686)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States

Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML

#14743806
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (12766)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: