Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

tygerarmy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8126
  • Number of comments : 595
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About tygerarmy : Current deployed and enjoying FML from somewhere in Middle-Earth
King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>TheViPeRisT</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Marie54321</b> - yesterday at 4:29pm<b>rookie3311</b> - yesterday at 11:53am<b>namine120409</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 6:21am<b>andiesaur</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:44am<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 11:58am<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 11:57am<b>brwneyes</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:34am<b>ptv_96</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:10pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 3:32am<b>redwoods</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:44am<b>Xacap</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:53pm<b>LivClaire96</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:49pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 8:13pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 5:41pm<b>Naveed_N</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:39pm<b>Star1398</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:22am

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26353) - you deserved it (9929)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30929) - you deserved it (2970)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15608) - you deserved it (53256)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

#17526704
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60176) - you deserved it (3464)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

#17525503
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10544) - you deserved it (69276)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36828) - you deserved it (2808)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34711) - you deserved it (9619)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34711) - you deserved it (9619)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32547) - you deserved it (11418)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

#17362990
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32547) - you deserved it (11418)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by laughingflame - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40847) - you deserved it (5490)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37500) - you deserved it (9705)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18217) - you deserved it (34233)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29621) - you deserved it (7255)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: