Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Online | Search for a member

tygerarmy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8486
  • Number of comments : 597
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About tygerarmy : Current deployed and enjoying FML from somewhere in Middle-Earth
King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>dggetswaggoob</b> - 17 hours ago<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:03pm<b>OwenBicker</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:58pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 6:18pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:30pm<b>j11a01</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 3:23pm<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:54am<b>zeddiculus</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:32am<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:26am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:51am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:25am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:36am<b>fauxshrimp</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 7:39pm<b>GrymReefer</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 7:11pm<b>TNSky</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:36am<b>acg7</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:06am<b>sajupt</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 7:39am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:01am

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, my landlord's control issue got out of control when I got a call telling me I have "too much stuff" and have to move out of the apartment. I sold all my furniture when I moved in and all I currently own is a scratch post, a chair and a pair of curtains. FML

#21145421
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (3593)

On 05/19/2014 at 5:44pm - money - by that makes me a sad panda (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, I realized that when a girl asks what your plans are for Valentine's Day and you say "nothing" and she responds with, "Oh, I don't have any plans either", it means she wants you to take her out. Took me three months to figure that out. FML

#21145130
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33984) - you deserved it (53150)

On 05/19/2014 at 1:15pm - love - by clueless - United States (California)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49004) - you deserved it (4385)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

#21139841
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36332) - you deserved it (4292)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41079) - you deserved it (15327)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

#21135014
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35777) - you deserved it (3875)

On 05/09/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63658) - you deserved it (8093)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48634) - you deserved it (16270)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48588) - you deserved it (4418)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43546) - you deserved it (4978)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (4572)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46011) - you deserved it (5698)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49804) - you deserved it (13820)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52392) - you deserved it (3999)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43797) - you deserved it (8611)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: