Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

tygerarmy

73Fucked!

tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16846
  • Number of comments : 732
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter/IG @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>DumbAndYoung</b> - 7 hours ago<b>lexiieeex3</b> - 8 hours ago<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - 9 hours ago<b>BabooonLove</b> - 10 hours ago<b>LilsBills300</b> - 11 hours ago<b>FitFriday</b> - 16 hours ago<b>jacklynsahvanna</b> - yesterday at 6:35pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:42am<b>TaintedTraveler</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:01am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 12:10am<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:38pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:41pm<b>hope1103</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:00am<b>speakfreely</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:07pm<b>pangbang</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:24pm<b>xn3x</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:05am<b>jake_braves</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:03am<b>SecundusSecunda</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:20pm

Fucked!<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 5:57pm<b>Frechy</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 2:23pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 1:33am<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 8:59am<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 3:23pm<b>ThatOneTimeLord</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:43am<b>HowSmartOfYou</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:30pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 9:56pm<b>meowimmakat</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Dingodile</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:47pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:54pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:36pm<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:42pm<b>Brunofk7</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:30am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:25am<b>josuevallejo</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 5:33am<b>18emikot</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:23am<b>kayana153</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 9:32pm

tygerarmy's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (34408)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84871) - you deserved it (7748)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML

#20742729
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46371) - you deserved it (4488)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by welp, time to become an assassin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63109) - you deserved it (4166)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41099) - you deserved it (3113)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51607) - you deserved it (10933)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58212) - you deserved it (5711)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52879) - you deserved it (6790)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73322) - you deserved it (13978)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59359) - you deserved it (68183)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML

#20705829
173 comments

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59187) - you deserved it (17821)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61131) - you deserved it (5094)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66419) - you deserved it (14537)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: