Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16016
  • Number of comments : 715
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter/IG @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>najraa</b> - 17 hours ago<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:49pm<b>__justin98</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 9:56am<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 8:27pm<b>alex997</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:28am<b>ThatOneTimeLord</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 10:43pm<b>megahan</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:29am<b>bguerrero</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:03pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 9:37pm<b>the_bassist__</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Rizzie0512</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 2:06am<b>sarahfoundnemo</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:50am<b>larkflyre</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:53pm<b>chitochito</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 11:23pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:07am<b>1isab3th</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:47pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 6:46pm

Fucked!<b>ThatOneTimeLord</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:43am<b>HowSmartOfYou</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:30pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 9:56pm<b>meowimmakat</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Dingodile</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:47pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:54pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:36pm<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:42pm<b>Brunofk7</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:30am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:25am<b>josuevallejo</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 5:33am<b>18emikot</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:23am<b>kayana153</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 9:32pm<b>purplehair</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:33pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:45pm<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:16am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:39am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:04am

tygerarmy's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my birthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56652) - you deserved it (4254)

On 04/14/2013 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64641) - you deserved it (21241)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36544) - you deserved it (13649)

On 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm - misc - by SoreNips (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML


I agree, your life sucks (50513) - you deserved it (5157)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41844) - you deserved it (3745)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML


I agree, your life sucks (56452) - you deserved it (12877)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48689) - you deserved it (3494)

On 03/30/2013 at 3:02pm - love - by unknown - France

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43548) - you deserved it (5052)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46912) - you deserved it (19784)

On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML


I agree, your life sucks (42035) - you deserved it (7052)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41591) - you deserved it (7120)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53206) - you deserved it (12531)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48544) - you deserved it (2908)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (63818)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: