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tygerarmy

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tygerarmy

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tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8890
  • Number of comments : 600
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

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tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41966) - you deserved it (3832)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14525) - you deserved it (34439)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18258) - you deserved it (47462)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7679) - you deserved it (35871)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (5398)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

#19324858
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (32477)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (6763)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

#19247748
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (2842)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9736) - you deserved it (31568)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (28072)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (5547)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10367) - you deserved it (55104)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
407 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38135) - you deserved it (5625)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26279) - you deserved it (4058)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML

#19098700
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31191) - you deserved it (4081)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:44am - love - by Cheap N Happy (woman) - United States



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