Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

tygerarmy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8451
  • Number of comments : 597
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About tygerarmy : Current deployed and enjoying FML from somewhere in Middle-Earth
King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 5:03pm<b>OwenBicker</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:58pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 6:18pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:30pm<b>j11a01</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 3:23pm<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:54am<b>zeddiculus</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:32am<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:26am<b>Demonface54</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 7:51am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:25am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:36am<b>fauxshrimp</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 7:39pm<b>GrymReefer</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 7:11pm<b>TNSky</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:36am<b>acg7</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:06am<b>sajupt</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 7:39am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:01am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:54am

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

#19324858
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9503) - you deserved it (32442)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (6762)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

#19247748
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22660) - you deserved it (2784)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9731) - you deserved it (31541)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

#19233379
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (28046)

On 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by sad face - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the captain of my school's girls wrestling team asked me out. I politely declined. She angrily locked me in the trunk of my own car. FML

#19165097
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32347) - you deserved it (5484)

On 02/26/2012 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10058) - you deserved it (54445)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38091) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26251) - you deserved it (4057)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML

#19098700
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31144) - you deserved it (4081)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:44am - love - by Cheap N Happy (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

#19095316
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27039) - you deserved it (5041)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States

Today, after a twelve week dry spell followed by an eight week one, I decided to take a bit more initiative at seducing my girlfriend. Not only was she "not in the mood" again, but she offered me Trident Layers gum instead. She apparently thought that it was a fair trade. FML

#18996569
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24326) - you deserved it (4662)

On 02/04/2012 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by dasnich (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML

#18974357
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (2439)

On 02/02/2012 at 2:07am - kids - by Insomniac (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38327) - you deserved it (2949)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

#18918439
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (4181)

On 01/26/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Bailyboo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: