Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16009
  • Number of comments : 715
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter/IG @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>najraa</b> - 3 hours ago<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:49pm<b>__justin98</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 9:56am<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 8:27pm<b>alex997</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:28am<b>ThatOneTimeLord</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 10:43pm<b>megahan</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:29am<b>bguerrero</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:03pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 9:37pm<b>the_bassist__</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Rizzie0512</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 2:06am<b>sarahfoundnemo</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 8:50am<b>larkflyre</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:53pm<b>chitochito</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 11:23pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 12:07am<b>1isab3th</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 9:47pm<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 6:46pm

Fucked!<b>ThatOneTimeLord</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:43am<b>HowSmartOfYou</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:30pm<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 9:56pm<b>meowimmakat</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Dingodile</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:47pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:54pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:36pm<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:42pm<b>Brunofk7</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:30am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:25am<b>josuevallejo</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 5:33am<b>18emikot</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:23am<b>kayana153</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 9:32pm<b>purplehair</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:33pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:45pm<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:16am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:39am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:04am

tygerarmy's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51245) - you deserved it (10858)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57798) - you deserved it (5674)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52610) - you deserved it (6771)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (72718) - you deserved it (13856)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (58981) - you deserved it (67827)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML


Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58766) - you deserved it (17714)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60664) - you deserved it (5067)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML


I agree, your life sucks (65967) - you deserved it (14445)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50627) - you deserved it (10912)

On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49100) - you deserved it (3238)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58736) - you deserved it (4933)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44757) - you deserved it (3377)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML


I agree, your life sucks (54408) - you deserved it (5691)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: