About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
About tygerarmy : King of Queens
tygerarmy's FML badges
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
tygerarmy's favorite FMLs
Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML
by poorbastard / 08/30/2014 at 4:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
by AgentOrion / 08/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Washington) / Money
Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML
by 919191 / 08/18/2014 at 9:26am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
by Dancing King / 08/07/2014 at 11:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Health
by younggirl101 / 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
by whoops / 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Animals
by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML
by blow away / 07/28/2014 at 12:36am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous