Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Online | Search for a member

tygerarmy

42Liked!

tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12068
  • Number of comments : 674
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter/IG @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - 2 hours ago<b>unicornpornHD</b> - 2 hours ago<b>tribaled</b> - 5 hours ago<b>JessicaLiz</b> - 6 hours ago<b>df21312</b> - 13 hours ago<b>unicornruler</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Lustig_Junge</b> - 14 hours ago<b>1Personation</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Tymaster5</b> - 20 hours ago<b>rebelsrock</b> - 21 hours ago<b>KobeLebroJordan</b> - 22 hours ago<b>vicky_lynnnnn</b> - 23 hours ago<b>MrSarary</b> - 24 hours ago<b>jayralos12</b> - yesterday at 11:49am<b>FubarBundy1988</b> - yesterday at 11:24am<b>arielleK</b> - yesterday at 11:03am<b>Dt33345</b> - yesterday at 10:35am<b>Target30377</b> - yesterday at 10:28am

Liked!<b>unicornruler</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Target30377</b> - 21 hours ago<b>kinelygriffy</b> - yesterday at 8:19am<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - yesterday at 4:24am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - yesterday at 12:36am<b>fiveforfighting</b> - yesterday at 11:08pm<b>JessicaLiz</b> - yesterday at 10:39pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - yesterday at 9:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 9:08pm<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:00am<b>ChloeMeyers_Xo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:50pm<b>Bbexxy</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:34am<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 4:40pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:54am<b>suszyy</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:06am<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:55am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:12am<b>this_ghetto</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:52am

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41819) - you deserved it (9036)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52765) - you deserved it (8988)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

#20792281
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41355) - you deserved it (3831)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57352) - you deserved it (6796)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59731) - you deserved it (21057)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58678) - you deserved it (12287)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

#20779714
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52149) - you deserved it (4296)

On 07/13/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by speechless - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (9863)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47060) - you deserved it (4865)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (4855)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40585) - you deserved it (2812)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41198) - you deserved it (2968)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25608) - you deserved it (32287)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81052) - you deserved it (7394)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: