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tygerarmy

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tygerarmy

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tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11428
  • Number of comments : 663
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter/IG @TygerArmy

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tygerarmy's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40954) - you deserved it (9863)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47044) - you deserved it (4863)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

#20765643
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44602) - you deserved it (4853)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

#20760145
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40567) - you deserved it (2811)

On 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41174) - you deserved it (2966)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25596) - you deserved it (32274)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81005) - you deserved it (7388)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML

#20742729
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43872) - you deserved it (4200)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by welp, time to become an assassin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60117) - you deserved it (3932)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37982) - you deserved it (2841)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49247) - you deserved it (10392)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55644) - you deserved it (5495)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49357) - you deserved it (6471)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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