About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
About tygerarmy : King of Queens
tygerarmy's FML badges
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
tygerarmy's favorite FMLs
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
by righthook / 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm / United States / Intimacy
by NotALuckyGuy / 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML
by gooddaydude / 04/04/2015 at 3:32pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML
by usadisvet / 04/02/2015 at 2:43am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by BirthdayBoy / 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by an anon / 03/27/2015 at 1:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by comfort_ / 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by david99021 / 03/19/2015 at 10:24am / Turkey (Ankara) / Health
Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML
by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
by numbtongue / 03/13/2015 at 12:19am / New Zealand (Otago) / Health
Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML
by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by no touching / 03/06/2015 at 9:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2015 at 12:12am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML
by love and tolerape, apparently / 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm / India (Jharkhand) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…