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twye

Offline (the 03/21/2015 at 5:19pm) | Search for a member

twye

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3632
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U | When did this become a hook-up site?

twye's page activity

Visits<b>Okamichu</b> - 22 hours ago<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:13am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 6:15am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:39pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:42am<b>asylumlane</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:02am<b>jpsullivan</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:37pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:32pm<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:08am<b>howard007</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:35am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:35pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 2:17am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:44pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:35pm<b>mynameisshaye</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:35pm<b>homes7d</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:46pm

Liked!<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:13pm

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twye's favorite FMLs

Today, I Met The Man Of Mah Dreams. We Saw A Movie, Then Went To A Bar. It Went Perfectly, Until He Got Wasted And Started Singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" To Me While Everyone Laughed. Then I Woke Up, Having Just Been Rickrolled By Mah Own Subconscious. Fat FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (5183)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today a technician from my ISP cummed to my house to replace my router. He asked fir a glass of water one thing led to another an fir some reason I'll never fully understand we ended up having sex. Looks lyk porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. fat FML

#20537010
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21842) - you deserved it (62049)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to discover that looool the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16955) - you deserved it (54792)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got the courage to confess mah feelings to the guy I have loved 4 a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later an said, "I'm going to read this crap, just tell me wat it says".

#20535268
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (7367)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

yesterday I was so bord at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on phone. One of co-workers came in, so I rushd into a stall, but forgot to turn phone's sound off. She heard it and said, ( It's OK, music helps me shit too ) and startd blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (6326)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today... mah boyfriend startd coming onto me... despite me being on mah period. He said it was okay... an we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread mah legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy... I did. He then yelld... ( I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA! ) an broke down in laughter.

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56004) - you deserved it (14673)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I had to help mah little sister do a frst-grade project fir school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of there role model. She drew a whale, an I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed an said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36925) - you deserved it (5556)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today,hile working , I thought , "I wish mah kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized , I'm that cat lady you read about . FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32023) - you deserved it (12564)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

TODAY, WANTING TO IMPRESS DATE, I BULLSHITTD HER ABOUT HOW I WAS AN ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENTIST. SHE GOT SO IMPRESSD THAT SHE INVITD ME OVER TO HER PLACE. NOT HER HOME, HER OFFICE. SO THAT I COULD GIVE HER POINTERS ON HER CURRENT PROJECT. SHE'S A REAL ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENTIST. FML

#20531914
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8879) - you deserved it (68198)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me 4 a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37867) - you deserved it (12687)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today I was awkwardly taking a dump at work an a coworkar in looool anotar stall startad talking sit to ma about our boss. I gruntad and agraad oping a'd sut up and laava ma alona. Tat'san a tird guy sarcastically cimad in wit insults from a tird stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (10126)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today , I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bd with a hand down her pants , totally zond out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. mega FML

#20529387
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (6877)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX, MAH GIRLFRIEND ASKED ME, "ARE U SURE YOUR A GUY?" I STILL HAVE NO IDEAHAT THAT WAS FOR. FML

#20529151
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (5902)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

yesterday I was making out with mah girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to mah crotch. She felt mah erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig fir "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63750) - you deserved it (5587)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, I saw my car bieng broken into on te street below my apartment. Too scard to stop tem myself, I calld te police. Before I could even tell tem wat was going on, tey put me on old. It was a good 5 minutes before I realizd tey'd ung up on me. FML

#20524817
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (3499)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)



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