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twye

Offline (the 06/27/2015 at 1:56pm) | Search for a member

twye

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 July 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4585
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U | When did this become a hook-up site?

twye's page activity

Visits<b>MitunaCaptor</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:04am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:33am<b>Okamichu</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:35am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:13am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 6:15am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:39pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:42am<b>asylumlane</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:02am<b>jpsullivan</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:37pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:32pm<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:08am<b>howard007</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:35am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:35pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 2:17am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:44pm

Fucked!<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:13pm

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twye's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (5147)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

#21332565
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35627) - you deserved it (7151)

On 01/07/2015 at 7:11am - misc - by ijustwantpizza - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML

#21332463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33263) - you deserved it (2049)

On 01/07/2015 at 1:03am - health - by random875 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally met my long-distance boyfriend of three years for the first time in person. After an amazing dinner and movie date, we went back to his house, only for him to dump me half an hour later. Not because I wouldn't have sex with him. No, his cat doesn't like me. FML

#21332217
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31057) - you deserved it (7426)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm - animals - by dragonfyre73 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

#21331973
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (4286)

On 01/06/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36582) - you deserved it (6883)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

#21329401
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (2072)

On 01/02/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by tokinallday - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32921) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, I gave feedback on how the store is run at the owners' request, because they don't understand why everyone keeps quitting. I guess they took it personally, because they asked me not to come back. FML

#21328814
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25289) - you deserved it (2331)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:03pm - work - by outofajob - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML

#21328639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24113) - you deserved it (4685)

On 01/01/2015 at 1:16pm - love - by ButtWorthSingingBout (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

#21326529
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (3098)

On 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30841) - you deserved it (15392)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40424) - you deserved it (2996)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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