About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U | When did this become a hook-up site?
twye's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
twye's favorite FMLs
by highschoolsucks / 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
by imsorry / 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SouthPaw / 01/14/2015 at 4:48pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
by middleagednurse / 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by kronic1990 / 01/14/2015 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Work
by Anonymous / 01/14/2015 at 2:18am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML
by fukinlonely / 01/12/2015 at 7:53am / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML
by Anonymous / 01/12/2015 at 4:46am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Transportation
by nick / 01/12/2015 at 3:23am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work
by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by reallyson? / 01/12/2015 at 12:28am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by yankeeboy123 / 01/12/2015 at 12:03am / United States (Florida) / Love
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation…