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Offline (the 05/21/2016 at 5:14am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8018
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." yo! :U | When did this become a hook-up site?

twye's page activity

Visits<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 11:12pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 4:42am<b>skymachine</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:27pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:48am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 12:41pm<b>bodyguerdson</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:13am<b>treesup</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:42pm<b>MitunaCaptor</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:04am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:33am<b>Okamichu</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:35am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:13am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 6:15am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:39pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:42am<b>asylumlane</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:02am

Fucked!<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 6:41pm<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:13pm

twye's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of twye's badges

twye's favorite FMLs

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

by highschoolsucks / 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

by imsorry / 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got banned from my school library after I ran after a guy who stole my bag. FML

by Skazzy3 / 01/14/2015 at 5:04pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML

by SouthPaw / 01/14/2015 at 4:48pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

by middleagednurse / 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

by kronic1990 / 01/14/2015 at 10:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2015 at 2:18am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, both my female flatmate and my gay male flatmate have got their boyfriends round. They've both stuck 'Do Not Disturb' signs on their bedroom doors and are both playing music which doesn't quite muffle the sounds of what they're up to. I haven't had a date in over six months. FML

by fukinlonely / 01/12/2015 at 7:53am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2015 at 4:46am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Transportation

Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

by nick / 01/12/2015 at 3:23am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected". FML

by reallyson? / 01/12/2015 at 12:28am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

by yankeeboy123 / 01/12/2015 at 12:03am / United States (Florida) / Love