About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U | When did this become a hook-up site?
twye's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
twye's favorite FMLs
Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Lisa / 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm / United States (New York) / Love
by fiftyno / 10/01/2012 at 11:02am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 10:50am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML
by halitosis / 10/01/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
by Prae / 10/01/2012 at 1:47am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML
by SorryUncleTommy / 10/01/2012 at 12:23am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids
by Shortround / 09/30/2012 at 8:56am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML
by BeforeItWasCool / 09/30/2012 at 5:30am / United Kingdom / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy
by getajob / 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my… Today, after hours of non-stop work on an important case, I cheeringly blurted out, "And now, time…