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twye

Offline (the 10/01/2015 at 11:55pm) | Search for a member

twye

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 July 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5682
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U | When did this become a hook-up site?

twye's page activity

Visits<b>skymachine</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 5:27pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:48am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 12:41pm<b>bodyguerdson</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:13am<b>treesup</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:42pm<b>MitunaCaptor</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:04am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:33am<b>Okamichu</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:35am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:13am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 6:15am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:39pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:42am<b>asylumlane</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:02am<b>jpsullivan</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:37pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:32pm

Fucked!<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 6:41pm<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:13pm

twye's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of twye's badges

twye's favorite FMLs

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30680) - you deserved it (6075)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

#20099410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (20201)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27312) - you deserved it (2190)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (3909)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

#20096649
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24039) - you deserved it (2706)

On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (17841)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

#20096305
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (1971)

On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27322) - you deserved it (6799)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34891) - you deserved it (5399)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11546) - you deserved it (29561)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

#20094866
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34401) - you deserved it (2771)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

#20094767
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14537) - you deserved it (26050)

On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36771) - you deserved it (7220)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

#20092291
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26747) - you deserved it (1919)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (5536)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)



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