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twye

Offline (the 03/21/2015 at 5:19pm) | Search for a member

twye

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3607
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U | When did this become a hook-up site?

twye's page activity

Visits<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:13am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 6:15am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:39pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:42am<b>asylumlane</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:02am<b>jpsullivan</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:37pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:32pm<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:08am<b>howard007</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:35am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:35pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 2:17am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:44pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:35pm<b>mynameisshaye</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:35pm<b>homes7d</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Mernfern</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:23am

Liked!<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:13pm

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twye's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML

#20111868
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10548) - you deserved it (28218)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22464) - you deserved it (4002)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34046) - you deserved it (5528)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27636) - you deserved it (4742)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

#20101252
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (3798)

On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28253) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (5568)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

#20099410
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8069) - you deserved it (18947)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25109) - you deserved it (2010)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (3500)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

#20096649
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22103) - you deserved it (2515)

On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15680) - you deserved it (15950)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

#20096305
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21073) - you deserved it (1810)

On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25066) - you deserved it (6488)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31647) - you deserved it (5016)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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