About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U | When did this become a hook-up site?
twye's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
twye's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by disembob / 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
by williebees / 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck / 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
by dumping time / 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Love
by RyanJarmanForPresident / 11/23/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals
by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by zzz / 11/22/2012 at 2:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 1:50am / United States / Work
Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML
by jobsearching / 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
- Today, I dropped by my hometown to surprise my family. Today I learned my father and mother both do… Today, I got up early to help my boyfriend get prepared to go turkey hunting and started his loud… Today, I realized that I should have checked my shower for drunken strangers before getting in. FML.