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twye

Offline (the 09/26/2014 at 7:33pm) | Search for a member

twye

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2126
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U

twye's page activity

Visits<b>homes7d</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Mernfern</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:23am<b>olpally</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:10am<b>bodyguerdson</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 9:35pm<b>boredguyyy</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:34pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 2:03am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 7:31pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 5:08am<b>claiiire</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 11:11am<b>littlebuggy</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 1:26pm<b>Star928</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 2:04am<b>emirie</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 5:19pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 1:22am<b>TheCanucklehead</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 11:32pm<b>JE553</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:23am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:18am<b>starile</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 12:36pm<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:23pm

twye's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of twye's badges

twye's favorite FMLs

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26852) - you deserved it (5547)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

#20099410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7546) - you deserved it (18034)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (1884)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (3490)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to my 22-year-old boyfriend that mice do not grow up to be rats. FML

#20096649
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20410) - you deserved it (2359)

On 10/01/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

#20096394
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14860) - you deserved it (15127)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

#20096305
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19448) - you deserved it (1675)

On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (6272)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30938) - you deserved it (4943)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9776) - you deserved it (26207)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

#20094866
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (2505)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

#20094767
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12541) - you deserved it (23400)

On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32560) - you deserved it (6549)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

#20092291
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23059) - you deserved it (1632)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27836) - you deserved it (4936)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)



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