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twye

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twye
  • Town/Country : Albany, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 July 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 411
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer. "



I use the App, not the website. Email me instead of PMing me.

Naggapoo@gmail.com

App. Y U take foreva to load?! ;w;

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twye's favorite FMLs

Today, my son sprayed the bottom of my car and windows white with fake snow in Christmas cheer. He did a great job, except he used white spray paint instead of the fake snow. FML

#20400437
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18576) - you deserved it (1369)

On 12/15/2012 at 6:48am - misc - by teejayrn - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

#20400363
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (4017)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (3704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18710) - you deserved it (1027)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML

#20397361
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16776) - you deserved it (3135)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by McFizzy321 - United States (Florida)

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19378) - you deserved it (1658)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

#20200420
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16871) - you deserved it (17315)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18819) - you deserved it (3642)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML

#20199452
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15581) - you deserved it (1483)

On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15785) - you deserved it (1774)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

#20195064
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28123) - you deserved it (1480)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

#20194994
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (13485)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

#20194616
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20402) - you deserved it (3601)

On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19241) - you deserved it (1115)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States



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