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twye

Offline (the 03/21/2015 at 5:19pm) | Search for a member

twye

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 July 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3572
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About twye : "See, the problem isn't that life is so short. It's the fact that death is so much longer." pbnjcakes.tumblr.com yo! :U | When did this become a hook-up site?

twye's page activity

Visits<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 10:13am<b>flupsht</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 10:09am<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 6:15am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 6:39pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:42am<b>asylumlane</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 12:02am<b>jpsullivan</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:37pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:32pm<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:08am<b>howard007</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:35am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 10:35pm<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 2:17am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:44pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:35pm<b>mynameisshaye</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:35pm<b>homes7d</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Mernfern</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:23am

Liked!<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 4:13pm

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twye's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43191) - you deserved it (2747)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31310) - you deserved it (3747)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30608) - you deserved it (4145)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39102) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (5001)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (2220)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28891) - you deserved it (10555)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27410) - you deserved it (6086)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23560) - you deserved it (15100)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (6139)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got banned from my school library after I ran after a guy who stole my bag. FML

#21337080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28673) - you deserved it (1783)

On 01/14/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by Skazzy3 (man) -

Today, I confronted my wife because I thought the many hours a day she spends at a local coffee shop were so she could smoke. Turns out she's cheating on me. FML

#21337071
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33691) - you deserved it (2690)

On 01/14/2015 at 4:48pm - love - by SouthPaw (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21215) - you deserved it (36805)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

#21336915
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28358) - you deserved it (4368)

On 01/14/2015 at 10:35am - work - by kronic1990 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

#21336801
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31845) - you deserved it (2752)

On 01/14/2015 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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