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twofirstnames

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5501
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About twofirstnames : My names Kailey. That's about it.
You can follow me on twitter @kaileyallison
If you ever want to talk(:

twofirstnames's page activity

Visits<b>colinabi</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 5:40pm<b>cheesus245</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:48am<b>mcdekree</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 1:10pm<b>getindoe69</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 5:08am<b>JackHuason</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:47pm<b>NthDakotaBeaches</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:11pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 5:01am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 4:26pm<b>hullarms</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:04am<b>nickstaab50</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:46am<b>ishmelbacon</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:13am<b>duckyyyduck</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:58pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 11:29pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:47pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 5:16am<b>hotel135</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 1:54am

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:26pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:29am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:46am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 7:29am<b>snowaholicmxz</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 12:21am

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twofirstnames's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
600 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44561) - you deserved it (11652)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
600 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44561) - you deserved it (11652)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

#18253944
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33974) - you deserved it (3304)

On 11/15/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by whoopsboutthecap - United States

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
473 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44032) - you deserved it (3443) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (80617)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (7330)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

#18164044
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32525) - you deserved it (3060)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41725) - you deserved it (5561)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41725) - you deserved it (5561)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

#18162827
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33471) - you deserved it (6777)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by sophhiee - United States (Maryland)

Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

#18162768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (3552)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

#18162768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (3552)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18633) - you deserved it (52014)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (9192)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66271) - you deserved it (4909)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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