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twofirstnames

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4455
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About twofirstnames : My names Kailey. That's about it.
You can follow me on twitter @kaileyallison
If you ever want to talk(:

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Visits<b>EletricAvenue</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:12pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:43am<b>orbit</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 7:13pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 9:27pm<b>sethe99</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:22pm<b>csjmcc</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:52am<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 12:23am<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 9:44pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:52pm<b>threer</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:54pm<b>dZiNex</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 3:19pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:25pm<b>jacxiaojie</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:54am<b>comedybreak</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 2:10am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 8:57am<b>bananagoat</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:18am<b>theduffyreport</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:21am<b>black_day</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 12:56pm

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twofirstnames's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34287) - you deserved it (6021)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
599 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (11432)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
599 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (11432)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

#18253944
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33660) - you deserved it (3290)

On 11/15/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by whoopsboutthecap - United States

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40980) - you deserved it (3179) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18119) - you deserved it (76718)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (6931)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

#18164044
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31100) - you deserved it (2931)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38883) - you deserved it (5262)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38883) - you deserved it (5262)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

#18162827
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (6546)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by sophhiee - United States (Maryland)

Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

#18162768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (3428)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

#18162768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (3428)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (49143)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33014) - you deserved it (8879)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)



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