twofirstnames

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twofirstnames

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7850
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About twofirstnames : My names Kailey. That's about it.
You can follow me on twitter @kaileyallison
If you ever want to talk(:

twofirstnames's page activity

Visits<b>anythingrandom</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 3:51am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 7:11pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 4:30am<b>OnAMission</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:05am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 7:31pm<b>ughitseve</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 12:45am<b>dno79</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 12:39am<b>Spongegar123</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:45am<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:47am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 12:24am<b>chewsef</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 12:08am<b>billboob</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:09am<b>TheWeeknd</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 5:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 12:13am<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 9:09am<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 3:53am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 1:39pm<b>oloy</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 6:16pm

Fucked!<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:29am<b>billboob</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 2:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 2:49pm<b>dno79</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:28am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:03pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:26pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:29am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:46am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 7:29am

twofirstnames's FML badges

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twofirstnames's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

by scammed / 12/18/2011 at 12:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML

by HR / 12/16/2011 at 4:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 3:11pm / Sweden (Hallands Lan) / Love

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

by Username / 12/15/2011 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

by annoyed / 12/14/2011 at 9:06am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

by newlysingle / 12/14/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Love

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

by brownunderwear / 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

by testesential / 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

by photomark / 12/13/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Health

Today, I saw a quarter in my poop. My friends say I do stupid things when I get drunk. Apparently, eating change is one of them. FML

by photomark / 12/13/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Health

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

by LogicalMolly / 12/13/2011 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy