twofirstnames

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twofirstnames

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7771
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About twofirstnames : My names Kailey. That's about it.
You can follow me on twitter @kaileyallison
If you ever want to talk(:

twofirstnames's page activity

Visits<b>anythingrandom</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 3:51am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 7:11pm<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 4:30am<b>OnAMission</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:05am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 7:31pm<b>ughitseve</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 12:45am<b>dno79</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 12:39am<b>Spongegar123</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:45am<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 6:47am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 12:24am<b>chewsef</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 12:08am<b>billboob</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 8:09am<b>TheWeeknd</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 5:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 12:13am<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 9:09am<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 3:53am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 1:39pm<b>oloy</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 6:16pm

Fucked!<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:29am<b>billboob</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 2:09pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 2:49pm<b>dno79</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:28am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:03pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 10:26pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:29am<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:46am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 7:29am

twofirstnames's FML badges

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twofirstnames's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

by JellitonOctopus / 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

by shitttyyyday / 01/14/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Health

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

by shitttyyyday / 01/14/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Health

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 6:54am / Sweden / Kids

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

by Fatty / 12/28/2011 at 2:57am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:26am / United States / Love

Today, while cuddling, my boyfriend excused himself to get a napkin. When he came back, he nervously admitted he'd got a booger in my hair. He then couldn't get it completely out. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 9:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

by anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

by ericane27 / 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 10:53am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML

by gtfoocd / 12/27/2011 at 10:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

by themuffinman / 12/27/2011 at 10:15am / Japan / Health