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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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two_bears

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two_bears
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 May 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 13906
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About two_bears : I'm going to fill in FML moments from the past first, then work my way towards the present until I can give up-to-date updates. You heard me.

two_bears's last visitors

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two_bears's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

two_bears's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (68303) - you deserved it (22845)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (14464) - you deserved it (58563)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (20720) - you deserved it (75021)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML

#458180 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (69514) - you deserved it (3037)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:42am - love - by Fwick (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (81732) - you deserved it (35229)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML

#339773 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (86929) - you deserved it (4684)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by Alexa23 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)