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twistedsyns

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twistedsyns

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 March 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About twistedsyns : I am a 26 year old female, living with family and my husband.

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twistedsyns's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22627) - you deserved it (9129)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

#19990099
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9707) - you deserved it (24929)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33622) - you deserved it (2863)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31533) - you deserved it (9702)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45219) - you deserved it (5068)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML

#17787431
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36481) - you deserved it (7542)

On 09/20/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by chloeguest97 - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39926) - you deserved it (5862)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30381) - you deserved it (8165)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

#13997572
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13477) - you deserved it (33239)

On 11/27/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by Flaps - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57900) - you deserved it (12350)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (80143)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14462) - you deserved it (42272)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

#3849129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15450) - you deserved it (48674)

On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, after the church service was over, my two year old granddaughter started to sing into the microphone. She said, "Here Nana, you sing". I picked up the microphone and sang " Jesus Loves Me". She took the microphone back and said, "No he doesn't." FML

#2076493
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60100) - you deserved it (8488)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:04am - kids - by nana (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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