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tvirusapocalypse's favorite FMLs
by vegas-81 / 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm / France / Intimacy
Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML
by ZombiexIce / 02/09/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Animals
by O_o / 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by lavenderpiss / 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
by thank u usa / 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Germany / Miscellaneous
by blah! / 12/08/2013 at 8:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/07/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
by no she wasn't high / 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML
by spockswifey / 11/03/2010 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
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