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Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (55472) - you totally deserved it (2667)
On 06/28/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by steven (man) - Cayman Islands
Today, I am currently grounded for three weeks, have no car, cell phone, or television privileges, and am not allowed to spend more than 10 minutes on the computer a day. The reason why: I was seven minutes past my 9'oclock curfew. I'm 18. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53802) - you totally deserved it (6219)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by creeped_out_ - United States (Kansas)
Today, I told my mom about my night terrors in which I am laying in a ditch with people shooting at me, and I have no ammunition to defend myself. She told me I should stop being such a whiny bitch, and to grow up and be a man. I am 20 and got back from Iraq 10 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (212443) - you totally deserved it (7177)
On 03/29/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by KSFarmBoy (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (187334) - you totally deserved it (15260)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (141777) - you totally deserved it (27409)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (163963) - you totally deserved it (82369)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137119) - you totally deserved it (7459)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (348038) - you totally deserved it (14432)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (152136) - you totally deserved it (8023)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (276624) - you totally deserved it (14806)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (146179) - you totally deserved it (10704)
On 01/31/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by iloveapples - United States (Connecticut)
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